Stapletonion Kickball Tournament Not Just for Exceptional Athletes

Many of you know The Stapletonion is presenting the 8th Annual SUN Kickball Tournament this year to be held on September 17th at Central Park. What you may not know is that kickball tournaments, typically reserved for the extremely athletic, are now for everyone. The Stapletonion Kickball director Nick Bell explains. “Historically, people have avoided kickball tournaments as they were clearly directed at the top 1% of athletes. Anyone can go throw a ball into a hoop, and certainly kicking a tiny ball into a huge net is not challenging at all. But, kicking a moving ball, then running to a base while beating the throw and or avoiding being hit? Well, that can be pretty intimidating.” To change the culture of kickball tournaments, Bell put in place a few key rules so that  above average and even some average athletes can compete and enjoy the game without being intimidated. Below are some of the key ones:

  1. Each team will be limited to TWO (2) professional athletes or Olympians (past or present). Editors note: The Stapletonion does not consider WNBA players professional athletes.
  2. Teams are required to have at least one drunk on team.
  3. Two team members must appear to have not worked out more than 5 times in last two years. (see John Kruk)
  4. Absolutely no one under the age of 25.
  5. All participants are required to follow main rule of tournament—Don’t Be Douchey.
Another key point we need to mention as the sponsor is that The Stapletonion is not responsible for any pulled hamstrings, dislocated shoulders, hurt pride, or any mishaps associated with drinking too much. A portion of the proceeds from the tournament will go to the Stapleton Public Schools. For more information and to register for this wonderful event, please go here.]]>

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