Stapleton Mom Brings Twinkies as Soccer Snack

In what has turned into a huge controversy for local soccer club Stapleton Fire, Denise Schaffer, mother of 5 year old Daniel Schaffer, brought Twinkies for the kids on her snack week. Historically, mothers have brought homemade health treats, granola bars, fruit, Clif kid products, or anything purchased from Whole Foods. So, when Denise brought Twinkies, a high sugar, high fat, and high preservative item to soccer practice, it raised quite a few eyebrows. “When I saw my kid tearing into a Twinkie, I was absolutely appalled,” said mother Erika Kozlowski. “Does she not have the internet? How could she not know how incredibly harmful Twinkies can be to a child’s development?” Many mothers tried to get to their kids before they got to the Twinkie snack, but to no avail. The Twinkies were torn into and devoured more quickly than any other snack that has ever been brought to the Stapleton Fire. Denise Schaffer did not seem the least bit concerned. “You know, when I was a kid, this is what mom’s and dad’s brought. And you know what else they brought? Soda. Lots and lots of soda. Our generation has produced thousands of great athletes fed by Hostess products and pop. I just want to stick with what has historically worked. Do you think LeBron James was getting Whole Foods snacks when he was a kid? No. He was getting f***ing Twinkies!” Erika Kozlowski along with a handful of other moms is working hard at creating some bylaws for the Stapleton Fire soccer team which will very specifically dictate what types of snacks parents can bring. Most moms agree with the concept, but could we be denying ourselves of the next LeBron James? Only time will tell.]]>

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1 Comment

  1. I distinctly remember the mom who brought Surge to my brother’s soccer games as a child. He could hardly buckle his seat belt his hands were shaking so much.

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