Cookie Wars: Scout Troops Fight Over Disputed Territory

Girl Scout cookie sales officially started a couple weeks ago, and Scouts and their parents were out in full force pushing their delicious goodies on Stapleton residents. This is typically a happy time of the year, where adults get to see cute little ones sell cookies, and of course, eat the cookies as well. There are several different scout troops within the borders of Stapleton, and troops have long kept the peace by negotiating sales territories. However, this year, violence erupted when a girl scout from troop 338 noticed a girl from troop 1265 selling cookies within what she considered a 338 territory in Bluff Lake. “What are you doing in our back yard?” yelled Kendall Miller. “This is 338 territory. You best be on your way, and I can pretend I never saw this.” A defiant Rylie DeGroot yelled back, “Not anymore. The 1265 has decided to open this area back up. This is now anyone’s game. Didn’t you hear?” More words were shouted as the two girls quickly approached each other. Suddenly, the girls began fighting. Cookies went flying, dollar bills flew into the air along with sales sheets. It was chaos. When the girls were finally separated, they both knew this was only the beginning of the violence. Troop 338 was not only going to protect their territory, but now they would also feel entitled to sell in 1265’s territory. What started as a small skirmish between two girls has started a massive war between scouts from several troops. As girls from troop 338 and 1265 continue to invade and sell in each other’s territories, other troops have begun waring over territories as well, looking to protect and expand their territories. “This is not what the Girl Scouts of America are about,” said local troop leader Nikki Larson. “We should be supporting each other, not fighting. But, to those not honoring their territory commitments, you are going to get a beat down.” There is no sense of when and if the violence will end, but experts believe the only way to stop it is for residents to continue to buy cookies. “Once the cookies are gone, violence should subsist, and scout leaders will come back to the table to redefine territories,” said organized crime expert Dave Cox. “But, we need to get those cookies off the streets, people. We must continue to buy those cookies. It’s our only hope.” *Editor’s Note:  If your cookie supplies are running low, please contact The Stapletonion at, and we will get you hooked up.  We got what you need.  ]]>

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