S.A.D.D. to Reach Out to Troubled Women

In a press release dated yesterday, the Stapleton Association of Divorced Dads, or S.A.D.D., announced the launch of the long-awaited Touch an Inmate program. Designed to help incarcerated women be ready to integrate back into society, the program involves weekly visits by S.A.D.D. members to the Denver Women’s Correctional Facility (DWCF), located at 3600 Havana Street, to meet and socialize with non-violent female offenders scheduled to be released in the next three months. Requiring tax payers to fund the construction of five additional private “visiting” rooms, the program is being met with mixed reviews. 

 DWCF administrator Maxine Flora had nothing but positive things to say about the new initiative. “We see the Touch an Inmate program as being right in line with our mission of embracing innovative approaches to the successful rehabilitation of our inmates,” she said in a phone interview with the Stapletonion this morning. “It could also provide invaluable training for our staff in dealing with potentially inappropriate levels of physical contact between inmates and visitors. I did ask if they would consider a slightly different name for the program but I guess they already had some fliers and a few t-shirts printed up,” she added. Some of the more outspoken groups in the community have criticized what they consider to be hidden motives of the sexual nature behind program but S.A.D.D. member and program director Bill Wright doesn’t see the problem. “Listen,” he said in an impromptu press conference outside Bladium last night, “many of our members are professionals. Doctors, lawyers, successful businessmen, and the like. We all know that reaching out and touching the lives of those less fortunate than ourselves can have a very positive impact on everyone involved so we figured, hey, why not reach out and touch an inmate? I mean, they’re right there for Pete’s sake. We all drive by them a few times a day. Sometimes more now that the 7-11 is there.”

 “Bottom line:” Wright said in closing, “we’re not just a bunch of lonely perverts – we’re S.A.D.D., and we’re here to help these women.”]]>

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