Stapleton’s Crossfit Women Join Together to Create Stapleton Security Force

It has long been understood that the women in Stapleton are simply more attractive than the men. Along these same lines, women in Stapleton are in considerably better shape than their male counterparts. There are several possible reasons for this. “My wife stays at home with the kids,” says Jay Llewellyn. “Now, I am not saying that staying at home is not work. Not at all. But our kids are both in school from 9-3:30 now, so she has had a lot more time. And she has used that time to become smoking hot and ripped.” Other reasons for Stapleton women keeping in such good shape include the increased pressure of being seen at the pool. “If you have young kids, you obviously have to go to the pool,” said Stapleton mom Brenda Walsworth. “You can’t just wear a robe every time you go, so you need to get in shape, because people will be comparing you to the other hot moms situated around the pool in their bikinis. It is quite competitive. You definitely want to be the mom all the husbands are staring at, even though it is a little inappropriate.” Women in Stapleton use a variety of ways to stay in shape including running clubs, yoga, spin classes, and even zumba. In recent years, one of the more popular workouts has been crossfit programs. These programs work participants extremely hard and have proven to show great results in just a short time. There are several CrossFit programs Stapleton residents attend, and these programs often become competitive with each other. “Of course we want our program to be the best,” says CrossFit club owner Leah Collazo. “But in the end, we just want people to achieve their personal fitness goals, whether it is with us or someone else.” The one thing that all CrossFit participants certainly agree on is the respect they have for each other, and what they go through. So, recently some CrossFit ladies in Stapleton were talking about some of the theft issues in the neighborhood and how the police force simply isn’t enough. “We know the police do a great job,” said CrossFit mom Kamie May. “But, it is hard for them to respond and get here quickly. So, what we decided to do was to create a 24 hour security force that people can call, and within minutes, a CrossFit mom will show up and handle any situation.” The women are excited to put their physical skills to practical use. “I am begging, just begging that someone breaks into a neighbors’ house,” says uber-ripped CrossFit Mom Paige Lair. “I will be there within seconds to kick the whore out of any intruder.” The security force, which will officially begin in late April, has other side benefits as well. “We plan to hand out signs to residents that say, ‘this home protected by the ladies of CrossFit,’” said Lair. “People can probably get rid of any security system they currently pay for, as this should be enough to ward off any potential intruders.” Stapleton residents should sleep much more comfortably now that the CrossFit women have their backs. ]]>

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