Preschool "Re-Education Chamber" Under Construction

Construction on a new neighborhood preschool began over the past few months and many Stapleton residents have been confounded by the new silo at its front door. Stapleton resident Colleen Lawruk tells the Stapletonion, “My daughter will be starting preschool school in the fall and we were very excited that there might be a farm at the site. My son loves pigs so we are hoping some interaction with farm animals was built into the curriculum.” But upon further investigation, the Stapletonion has discovered from the preschool’s headmistress, Lisa Bartness, that the silo will serve as a “time out” room for children who act out. She explains, “we plan to fill the silo with “time out” appropriate games and let the children reflect upon their poor behavior. We think that it will work perfectly because there are no corners in the room which will have a psychological effect on the kids to help deter them from misbehaving in the future.”  There are other benefits to the “room” as well.  “Many times, bad behavior can be contagious, like a Broncos losing streak,” says Bartness.  “When the kid(s) are isolated, the silo is completely soundproof, and therefore, the other kids will not be able to hear them yelling. This is a new education-style that has yet to be adopted nation-wide, but we are certain it is the best methodology.” The Stapletonion has also learned that while in the silo, recorded messages will be playing things like, “mommys and daddys don’t love naughty kids,” and “santa does not bring naughty boys and girls presents, ho, ho, ho.” Bartness mentions that so far the new concept has earned praise from parents, and the school already has a long waiting list.  ]]>

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